It’s probably fitting (and a little bit scary) that today of all days (9/11) finds me boarding a flight to return home. Eight years ago I had another return home that was bittersweet, indeed. Every year I share the chronicle of a life-changing event that shook me to the core and I am doing so here. I wrote this chronicle right after starting jkOnTheRun, and I rerun it every year at this time. If you don’t like reading off-topic posts then please skip over this. I do this for me; it’s a blog after all.

“Mr. Kendrick, can you hear me? I’m Mrs. Reinhard, the patient care facilitator here at Methodist hospital. Are you comfortable? I’ll be making sure your wife and family are OK while you’re in surgery as you’ll be there for a while. Do you want to tell me anything before they take you back?”

I have to think about that one. I’m so cold, it’s so cold in here. How should I respond that won’t conflict with my Southern upbringing? You must be stoic when confronted with the most terrifying thing in your entire life. Scared beyond words that you will never wake up. Scared that they won’t be able to fix your problem. Scared that you’ll never, ever see your beautiful wife and wonderful children again. Terrified that you’ll be an invalid after the surgery.

“Thank you but I’m fine.”

“You understand the procedure you’re about to undergo, right Mr.Kendrick? Would you like to talk about it or ask me any questions?”

“No, I’m fine. Tell my wife that I love her and I’ll see her shortly. She doesn’t handle upsetting things very well.”

“Well, OK, Mr. Kendrick. Don’t you worry- Dr. Lawrie is one of the best surgeons in the world and you’ll be just fine. I’ll sit with your wife for a while and make sure she knows what’s going on with your procedure. They’ll be coming to take you into surgery in a few minutes. I’ll see you in the recovery room.” (What I didn’t know then is that Dr. Lawrie worked for 20 years on the personal surgical team of Dr. DeBakey, the pioneer of cardiac surgery. Sometimes you just get lucky.)

As she walked away I hoped that Sheri would be OK. A single tear trickled involuntarily down my cheek. I suppose it was still there when the doctors and nurses started their work.

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Seven years ago the world was changed forever by an unthinkable act of cowardice that shook us to our very core.  That day affected me like many others but had a personal twist to it that makes this anniversary bittersweet for me.  I republish my chronicle of open-heart surgery every year at this time at the request of very many folks who find it helpful.  If you have no interest in non-tech stuff then skip this.  For those who wish to experience life-changing emergency open-heart surgery from the patient’s perspective then read on.

"Mr. Kendrick, can you hear me? I’m Mrs. Reinhard, the patient carefacilitator here at Methodist hospital. Are you comfortable? I’ll bemaking sure your wife and family are OK while you’re in surgery asyou’ll be there for a while. Do you want to tell me anything beforethey take you back?"

I have to think about that one. I’m so cold, it’s so cold in here.How should I respond that won’t conflict with my Southern upbringing.You must be stoic when confronted with the most terrifying thing inyour entire life. Scared beyond words that you will never wake up.Scared that they won’t be able to fix your problem. Scared that you’llnever, ever see your beautiful wife and wonderful children again.Terrified that you’ll be an invalid after the surgery.

"Thank you but I’m fine."

"You understand the procedure you’re about to undergo, right Mr.Kendrick? Would you like to talk about it or ask me any questions?"

"No, I’m fine. Tell my wife that I love her and I’ll see her shortly. She doesn’t handle upsetting things very well."

"Well, OK, Mr. Kendrick. Don’t you worry- Dr. Lawrie is one of thebest surgeons in the world and you’ll be just fine. I’ll sit with yourwife for a while and make sure she knows what’s going on with yourprocedure. They’ll be coming to take you into surgery in a few minutes.I’ll see you in the recovery room." (What I didn’t know then is that Dr. Lawrie worked for 20 years on the personal surgical team of Dr. DeBakey, the pioneer of cardiac surgery. Sometimes you just get lucky.)

As she walked away I hoped that Sheri would be OK. A single teartrickled involuntarily down my cheek. I suppose it was still there whenthe doctors and nurses started their work.

Continue reading from the heart

Rob Bushway of GottaBeMobile is a good friend and right now he needs your help in a major way.  Rob’s daughter Maggie is suffering from complications of a past brain tumor and is not doing very well.  She is in a hospital in Saint Louis and they are about to induce a coma to give her brain a much-needed rest from severe seizures so they can figure out how to treat them.  Rob and his wife Kathi are with Maggie and exhausted and they need your thoughts and prayers to get Maggie through this critical time.  Rob is posting updates on his personal blog and they read all the supporting comments that are left there to Maggie which she greatly enjoys.  Please keep Maggie in your thoughts and prayers and leave some comforting words for the Bushways.  They need it.

This poem is for Maggie- I wrote this for her in the past when she was having some complications and I’m sending it again.  Looking back I sent this to her over 3 years ago so you can see how long little Maggie has been fighting this.

I touched a star today,
I didn’t think I could
it was so far away,
But I touched that star today.

When things seem too much
and I am too tired to go on
I close my eyes
and I see that bright star.

And when I see that star
so high in the sky
I know I can touch it
without batting an eye.

The star gives me joy
and warmth and love
and sends down its beacon
to me from above.

I touched a star today
and knew I was fine
just one touch is all it took
and then that star was mine.

I love my star
and you have one too
just close your eyes
and you will see it too

And once you see your star
so high up in the sky
just reach up and touch it
and you will be fine

I will share my star
with you here today
because you’re so special
in every each and every way

so take care of your star
and it will take care of you
be kind to the star
and it remains true blue

Your friend, James

Get well Maggie.

I have some major great things happening in my life that are game-changing for me.  They are so significant to me and I miss chatting with Marc Orchant about them.  Marc was the most supportive friend one could have and I know he’d be so excited for me and I really miss him.  I do know he’s watching and giving me a big thumbs-up and that means a lot.

Today is Father’s Day in the US and I want to wish Kevin Tofel, Matt Miller, and all of you who are fathers to have a very special day and enjoy time with your family.  I intend to do the same and think back on the impact my own father had on me.  He passed away a few years ago and I find it fitting to run this tribute for him as he is in my thoughts this fine day:

Goodbye to a great man

Yesterday was day one of my "web-only" challenge, the effort to examine if it’s possible for me to boycott desktop applications. The heavily-skewed pie chart shown to the right is the direct result of using Wakoopa, a small application that tracks and records what programs you run, how long they ran, etc… This also means I’ve taken another "exception" in my effort since Wakoopa is a client application.

As you can see, I spent 99% of my day in a single application. Let me offer the breakdown so you can see what Wakoopa saw. Note: it only shows 5.5 hours of tracked data, yet I used my UMPC much longer than that. I suspect there’s a lag in the collected and reported data.

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Something we don’t do very much here on jkOnTheRun is write about personal type stuff.  We figure that’s not what you want to hear about on a tech blog and we like to keep some personal things private.  I broke that rule when I originally wrote the "from the heart" series about my heart surgery and it’s resonated with a lot of people all over the world.  I am getting a lot of requests from friends and readers who heard about my recent stroke who wondered if I planned to write about that experience the same way.  I have been told that a lot of people would be interested to find out what the stroke experience was like and how it all went down.  I must admit that I had not planned to write about this experience as I didn’t think there would be much interest in it but since I still keep getting asked about it I changed my mind.  Thankfully, changing my mind is something I can still do, it could have been much different.  If this experience interests you read on after the jump, if you’re only interested in tech stuff then skip on and it will be business as usual.

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Kevin has done a great job holding down the fort here on jkOnTheRun while I have been goofing off in some hospital.  He gave you the basics about my absence but it’s time to give you the real scoop as to where I have been.  First up I want to give a huge THANKS to all of you who sent your well wishes, they have made me push to get back on the keyboard again which is totally therapeutic. 

Last Sunday night I was sitting in my study when I got very dizzy all at once.  I sat in the chair for a couple of minutes to see if it would pass and it did not.  I also noticed that the left side of my mouth was asleep, you know how it feels if you sleep on your arm and it’s tingly when you wake up?  Like that.  The two symptoms occurring at the same time made me fear I had/ was having a stroke given my history of cardiac affairs.  My wife was not at home so I lay down for a few minutes to see if I felt better.  When she arrived at home I called her in and told her I think I had a stroke and I needed to get to the hospital.

That’s where I have been since then and I have experienced a battery of tests including MRIs, CT scans, ultrasounds, and a lot of blood work.  The testing so far has confirmed that I experienced a mini-stroke in the back of my brain, but there is no detectable loss of function of any type as a result which is awesome!  This stroke was likely caused by a heavy spike in blood pressure.  My white cell count also indicated a massive infection so I may have brought something unintentional back from Vegas, maybe this could have been the reason the BP spiked up.  Who knows?  The three doctors who have been treating me feel I will probably be released tomorrow, which will be great as I hate hospitals.  I haven’t had a decent sleep since I got here, I need to go home to rest up.

I hope that I will get to go home tomorrow, that will depend on another MRI I am scheduled to get in the morning so hopefully that test will back up what has already been determined.  I am very ready to get home and to talk about all of the big things going on by some people called Apple.  Be back soon!

It just gets harder and harder.  We have the information to share about the memorial service for Marc Orchant.  It will be Wednesday, December 12th at 11 am and here is the location of the service:

Both Kevin and I will be flying in to attend the service and if you are attending please say hello.  We all need each other during this trying time.